Comfort in the Known

 I'm watching Jurassic Park right now. You might think that's an odd choice. A lot of people do. I'm a 46 year old female.....I should be watching dramatic movies or RomCom or straight up romances....right?  Well, we will get into why those things will almost never be choices of mine later. I love dinosaur movies and alien movies. Especially alien movies where we kick alien butt. I also like natural disaster movies. This is my movie collection. I round it out with Smokey and the Bandit, Dirty Dancing and both versions of Footloose.

Usually when I sit down to watch Jurassic Park I plan for it to be a whole day deal and I start early. There are 6 movies now and that takes a while. Usually a whole day of knitting is planned and I snuggle in and go. I don't need to pay attention because I can quote all but the newest movie and I'm getting close with that one.

So many people think it's strange that I have this obsession with these movies and watch them over and over and over again. I did too, but for whatever reason they were calming and I haven't gotten a lot of that in my life in the last 28 years. So dinosaurs and aliens it is.

When I started going to therapy a couple years ago, I mentioned my weird movie obsession (compulsion) and was surprised by my therapist's reaction. She said it was completely normal. Watching the same movies over and over is completely normal for someone with PTSD, even scary movies......because we know the ending. Everything is set, we know the actions and reactions of the characters before they happen and we understand how everything wraps up way before the end. 

Totally normal. 

You can't understand the amount of relief I felt when we had this discussion. You see, I had been told I was weird and absolutely crazy about this very thing for years. Side-handed sarcastic or outright mean comments were made whenever I would be found watching one of my movies. But it was normal. 

You see, I might not know how things would go that afternoon, my husband's mood, etc, but I knew exactly how that movie was going to end. 

More things in my life are under my control now. However, last night I turned on Battleship late and watched in bed (which I never, ever do). Although I stayed up late and had to get up early it was exactly the relaxation that I needed to remind me that everything is under control and the aliens (mean people) don't win. Truth, good will prevail over evil and life will be good.

So I'm watching Jurassic Park today and have no guilt or regrets. Happy Saturday!